Sorry
by Shelly Webster
Summary: Gail and Holly parted on not so good terms. Now, they have to meet again. I own nothing
1. Chapter 1

She was never afraid of getting older. Every year that came, brought something important and new. To her, it was happening in every three years. At the age of twenty three Gail met Holly at one of the crime scenes that changed a lot in the Division they worked at. Holly was new and knew no one so, when her findings pointed at one of the highly ranked officers there were some problems in division. When Holly tied him up to the murder weapon and scene, it was done. He was arrested and Police of Toronto was without one of the people who made it that efficient. They started dating and she was so happy. On her twenty sixth birthday, they eloped and spent two weeks driving around Canada and having fun. They camped, swam in lakes, fad the animals, made love wherever they could and just enjoyed being married and happy. In next two years, they had a good life and then in third year of their marriage, Holly got an offer for job every forensic pathologist would kill for. She told Gail about it and Gail was not sure why was Holly even thinking about it. They had good life where they were and she had no intention moving across the state and changing their life. It made their marriage and life very difficult. Holly wanted to take the job and Gail didn't want to hear about it. That battle ended in the bad way for both of them. One day Gail came home from work and found that Holly was not home. On the kitchen table she noticed piece of paper and Holly's wedding ring. She opened the paper and there was just one word Sorry. After Holly left, Gail closed up to everyone and buried herself into her work. She didn't look for Holly, she didn't call. She believed she would be back. It took her some time to put herself together, or at least to pretend she was fine. On the night she found Holly's ring on the table, she put it on her chain and wore it around her neck. That was the way she had her always by her side. She never showed interest in dating other people and she never moved any of Holly's things from their place. She gave no opportunity to anyone to approach her and she kept pretty much to herself. She was there, but only as a shadow of former self. Her friends believed it was just a phase but it never changed.

And there she was… She was turning thirty eight in a few days and she was already Chief Superintendent. That was higher rank than her mother had before she retired. She was pretty much like her mother. She was feared, she was talked about and she ruled with an iron fist. Gail knew all the things that were happening at work and she knew how to make her division work better. Even her friends feared her and made sure to do their work in the best possible way. She cut herself from them, but they knew their former friend is still somewhere in there. Gail loved being locked in the office all the time. That meant she didn't have to see people a lot. She had all the time to be by herself. She got to the office early and already buried herself into some paperwork. Her phone rung and she answered…

''Ms. Gail Stewart?''

She took a deep breath. She was not called like that for years. She did take Holly's last name when they got married, but at her police circles she stayed Peck. Peck name in police circles was everything and it hurt less when no one mentioned Holly and anything related to her. She kept the last name, but she almost never used it. It was easier like that.

''Yes…Who is that?''

''My name is Nurse Peterson. I'm calling from the General Hospital in LA. You are listed and Ms. Holly Stewart's next of keen. ''

''Is she O.K.?''

''Mrs. Stewart was in the car accident. She is very critical… We need you to come here so you can give us instructions…''

''Oh…I live in Canada... It will take some time to get there…''

''What about her parents or someone else?''

''I believe her parents live in Europe and I also think that I'm the only one listed…. I'll be there as soon as I can…''

She gathered her things and left the office. She informed her secretary that she will be out of office due to some family emergency. She went home and packed her suitcase and caught first flight to LA. Flight was endless to her. Her feelings and thoughts were all over the place. She was scared, angry, and nervous. She wondered if Holly would be glad to see her. She wondered if Holly changed what she was doing now. She had so many dilemmas and questions. She even had some doubts about herself. Did she change and was she still looking good. Ten hours after receiving the call she got to the hospital. She found the room Holly was in and she was there. In front of the room was one women in her sixties and one young woman in her late twenties. Rules for ICU were special. You had to have permission form the doctors to go and see the patient. You had to get dressed in surgical slippers, have mask, cap and coat. Some patients' didn't need these measures, but anyhow you had to have clear from the doctors. She sat in one of the chairs and waited for someone to come. Two women sitting across form her decided to chat. Apparently it was easier if you talk to someone. Older women spoke to her first.

''Are you here for someone close?''

''Yes, my w… friend…''

Wife sounded somehow….strange now… She hasn't used that word in a very long time. She knew nothing about Holly now, so friend was safer…

''Oh…''

''What happened?''

''I don't know. I just got the call to come and I know nothing….''

Gail didn't want to talk, but the other woman didn't want to stop talking…

''We are here for my daughter's girlfriend. They had a nice evening, my girl proposed and she just run into her car and hit the wall on the side of the road. We are waiting for some news…''

''I hope she is fine…''

''They won't let us see her. They are waiting for someone to come for her…We don't know who that person is. We know nothing about who her relatives are…''

''I'm sorry…''

Doctor came and noticed someone new in the waiting room.

''Are you here for Ms. Stewart?''

''Yes, I was told by one of your nurses to come….''

Two women heard her and stood up.

''You are here for Holly?''

''Yes…''

''And who are you?''

''I'm…''

At that moment, doctor came to Gail and told her she could enter the room. She took her suitcase and rolled it into Holly's room. She was so scared and her emotions were mixed… She wanted to see her for so long…. And now, what? Before she saw her, she could hear beeping of the machines she was hooked on. She approached the bed and saw her covered in bruises and cuts. Her face was full of small cuts, her legs were broken and doctor told her there was some damage to the spine too.

''We can't say anything until she wakes up and we examine her properly.''

''Is she going to make it?''

''I can't promise anything, but I believe she will survive it. I'm not sure about the consequences.''

''Why is she asleep? Is she in coma?''

''No, she is on very strong pain medications. That's why she is asleep. She will wake up in a few hours, but… Just so you know, she will be in and out first few days. It would be better for her to be under the meds. She would be in strong pain otherwise.''

''Thank you…''

''Have a nice day… I'll be back in a few hours to check on her. I believe she will wake up in two hours.''

Gail sat to the chair and let out the breaths she was holding. For some time she sat in the chair just looking at her. She was afraid to approach her. She got up and stood by the window. It was already after midnight. She was so tired and she wanted to sleep, but something didn't give her strength to move away from Holly.

'' Water… I need water…''

Gail moved to the cupboard and poured some water into the cup. She took the straw and got near the bed to give it to her. Holly's eyes were closed, but she could notice her being very upset…

''It can't be… You can't be…''


	2. Chapter 2

''It can't be… You can't be…''

Holly's machines started to beep and nurses came with doctor to the room.

''What happened?''

''She wanted some water and then she got upset over something….''

''Please leave the room… Let us do our job here…''

Gail left the room and was greeted by the women from the waiting room. She forgot about them.

''How is she? What happened?''

''She is... I don't know…''

Doctor came out of the room and came to Gail.

''She is stabile now. You may go to her.''

Gail went back to the room and noticed that Holly was still awake…

''You are here?''

''Yes, I am…''

''I thought I was dead or dreaming when I smelled your perfume…''

''No, it's me… You are awake and alive Holly…''

''Why are you here?''

''Nurse called me… You haven't changed your emergency contact…''

''Oh…''

There was some awkward silence.

''How long have you been here?''

''Few hours. I caught flight from Toronto and came here…''

''I'm pretty messed up? Am I?''

''You are…''

''I feel weird… Did they give me meds?''

''Yes…''

''Gail…''

''Yes?''

''Go home… I'll be fine… You need some rest…''

''I'll stay here… Sleep…''

Holly fell asleep and Gail took a nap in the chair. The girl entered the room and Gail woke up.

''I came to see her… She looks so peaceful.''

''She is drugged…''t

She picked up Holly's chart and went through it.

''Are you a doctor?''

''Not yet… I'm working on it. I was her student and then we started seeing each other…''

''Oh…''

''Yeh… She is something special. She has magic smile… When she smiles, everything gets better. I had semester with her in pathology and she was very nice to me. I had a lot of issues to spend time in the morgue. I was afraid of the dead bodies and she was very patient and helped me with it. I did my first autopsy three weeks after I started coming to the morgue and spending time with her. I was always afraid of that place because it's silent and creepy…''

Gail huffed…

''I always loved that silence… It's peaceful and quiet… There is not a lot of people and it gives you some piece and time to reflect.''

''Are you a doctor too?''

''No, I am a police officer…''

''How do you know Holly?''

''That is the story she has to tell, not me…''

''Oh…''

''You should have some rest. Go home…''

''I can't… I don't know if she is fine..''

''She will be… Go home and sleep. The worst is behind her now. She woke up and she was conscious. She knows who she is and where she is. Rest…''

Gail was very persuasive when it came to people. Girl picked up her things and went home with her mother. Gail's phone kept ringing and she was rejecting Steve's and Tracy's calls. She sent them messages saying she is fine and she will call when she could. They gave up after some time. She spent most of the night awake just looking at her. She was still beautiful. Her hair was in a cap so she was not sure if her hair was still long and beautiful as she loved it. She remembered how she could play with her hair for hours and that would always calm Holly and she would fall asleep. She remembered how happy she was when Holly was holding her and how much fun they had doing their thing on the weekends. She used to love their hikes and staying in that small cabin in the mountains. She remembered how Holly loved to ski with the boys on those dangerous slopes and how happy she was when Holly came back in one piece. She was sucker for danger and adrenaline, but Gail learned to live with it. She was so in love with her that she would take anything Holly offered. But she had the other side, side only known to Gail. She was very cuddly person and she couldn't stand not to be close and entangled with her whenever they had some time together. They slept so close that she believed edge of the knife would be wide for them. She loved do be big spoon and she loved to make love to Gail all the time. Some of their friends believed they were teenagers in grown ups' body. Gail missed her in so many ways. She missed her friend, her voice of reason, her confidante and also her lover. She missed having her close and being with her all the time. She missed the feeling of not waking up alone. Gail pushed the chair closer to Holly. She held her hand and fell asleep like that. She woke up around five when she heard Holly mumble something…

''…your hands are still so soft…''

''Holly?''

She opened her eyes and smiled.

''Hey…''

Gail smiled at her… That was the way she greeted Holly at the very beginning of their relationship when things were still confusing and not very clear between them.

''Hey, Holls…''

''I'm in so much pain and very hungry…''

''I'll see what I can do about it…''

Gail left the room and went to find a nurse. She was told that Holly could eat solid food but at this time of day it wouldn't be possible to find food out of the hospital. Gail went to cafeteria and got sandwich for Holly and some jello. She remembered Holly loved lemon jello and chicken salada sandwitch. She got back to the room and put the food on the table…

''Let's feed you Dr. Stewart…''

''Thanks... Officer Peck…''

''It's actually Chief superintendent now…''

''Wow! That was enormous leep…''

''Yes… A lot can happen in almost ten years Holly….''

There was awkward silence… Gail was helping her with the pillows and she leaned over Holly to adjust them. At that moment, Holly noticed her wedding ring around Gail's neck and Gail's ring on her finger. She touched her ring and Gail froze…

''You have it… I spent a lot of time searching for it in my bags and boxes…''

''You left it on the table… And I couldn't put it on my finger… I just…''

''You never took yours off?''

''No, it never left my finger since the moment you put it on it…''

''Why?''

''Because contrary to the popular belief, Gail Peck is not a cheater and she respects commitments she makes. I made my to you and I promised you to be your wife till the day I die and I'm keeping my promise… You broke yours… Nine years Holly…. Nine years….''

''I came back…''

''What?''

''I came back… You were at the Penny with some redhead…It looked like you had fun…''

''I never dated anyone… I was tricked into some blind dates, but I made it clear I was taken. I never hid the fact I was married and that I have every intention to honor my commitment. I am not a cheater… but I see you have a girlfriend, or should I say fiancée…''

''I… You met Irene…''

''I did… She is cute little girl Holly…''

''Gail… It's not like that…''

''What? You felt lonely? You wanted to have fun and she thought it would be an epic love story?''

Gail snorted at her…

''How stupid of her to believe you… But why do I complain? I was stupid too… I believed your lies, I believed you would never leave me, I believed we were forever, that you were different…THAT YOU LOVED ME….''

''I did… I think I still…''

''Oh, no… Don't you dare go there Holly… You don't go there….''

''How typical… Gail doesn't want to listen to someone stating their opinion…''

''No, it's not like that… Gail doesn't want to listen to bullshit my beloved Holly… Gail is sick of bullshit…''

Gail finished adjusting the pillows and she brought food to Holly. For some time they sat in silence. Around noon Irene came and Gail excused herself from the room.

''I believe you and girlfriend need some privacy Holly.''

''Gail…''

''See you later…''

During the time Irene was with Holly, Gail was being practical. She asked around about Holly's job, apartment and her health care coverage. It turned out that she would lose her job because she can't teach because of her injuries. She worked in the morgue of the teaching hospital and she had to work to earn her benefits and health care. With losing her job, she would lose place to live since she lived in university complex. The clerk told her that Holly's medical bills could go up to few thousand dollars. Good for Holly she was still covered with Gail's health plan and that she could get all the care she needs from it. There were perks of being married to very high ranked Peck. She gathered all the necessary forms and things legal services needed to take charge of her bills and all the things included. Gail Peck (Mrs. Stewart), was not an easy person to mess with. She was pit-bull when it came to her friends and family. She managed to get Holly all she needed. She was very capable person and she had no mercy. When she came back to the hospital, doctor was explaining Holly and her girlfriend the problem with money and her treatment.

''I'm sorry Dr. Stewart… It's not up to me…''

''I understand…''

''If this doesn't resolve, you will have to leave the hospital in day or two…''

Irene kissed Holly and promised she will do everything she can in these two days to keep her in the hospital and she told her she could come and live with her. Gail was pissed. That was HER wife and if anyone gets to take her home and take care of her, that would be her…not some two year old bitch…wife stealer. Gail got in so they could see her…

''It is resolved. Her treatment and all is being covered for the time she needs to be in the hospital.''

Irene was stunned… She had no idea how Gail managed it…

''Ms. Stewart… This is…hmm…''

''There is all the paperwork you need to keep her in the hospital until the day she is to be let out of the hospital.''

''How did you managed it? I tried all I could…''

''Well, you missed one important piece of paper…''

Irene looked surprised. Her mother had no idea what Gail talked about…

''I don't get it… We gathered all we had…all we were told to…''

Holly looked at the floor…She was embarrassed for this situation…

''Gail, let it go… Please…''

''Why? This is more fun...''

She turned to the girl…

''Can't you guess Irene?''

''No, I have no idea…I tried to get all that their legal service told me to…''

''And all your papers were beaten by just one of mine…''

''What is that…''

Gail smiled….

''Two words…. Marriage certificate…''

Irene jumped from the bed where she sat with Holly.

''What? Is that true Holly?''

Before she could answer, Gail did it for her.

''You see… Yours truly and I got married about some twelve years ago… She charmed me into dating her, making me believe she is better that all the people I dated and she promised not to hurt or leave me ever… See how that turned out… Someone dangled with a job offer in front of her, and it was more important than me and us… So, from personal experience, forget about marriage with her… You see what it did to me…Don't expect to be different… It's a nice lie to believe in…''

''Gail, please…''

''Please what Holly? What part of what I said was not true? Did you or did you not make me fall crazy in love with you? Did you or did you not got me to marry you on my birthday that is by the way today, so happy anniversary my beloved wife…''

''You twisted it all… You got it all wrong…. I regretted leaving but you never tried to reach me… How could I know that I was any different than Chris, Nick or any other person you dated? And when I did come back, I saw you with someone else…''

''What? You saw me sitting at the table with someone and you decided I was over you and cheating? Good job wifey… Nice of you to trust me that much… I married you Holly… I told you things I never mentioned to anyone before.. I loved you to death… I never let any of our friends say a bad word about you. I kept memories of our marriage alive. All of your things are still at the same place. I kept your last name on my legal documents and I never thought about dating anyone else…and the worst thing is that I would stay married to you until the day I die, because Gail Peck is a good man in the storm. She stands her ground and honors her promises. On the day I married you I said forever… You broke it… You broke me…''

And with that Gail left her room and went to the cafeteria. She took some herbal tea and went to the roof of the hospital. She started crying and she couldn't stop. Her phone was ringing and she answered.

'' Chief superintendent Peck…''

''Gail… ''

''Holly…''

''Come back…''

''I…''

''Please…''

Gail wiped her tears away and went down to Holly's room. Holly pointed to the side of her bed and Gail sat there. Holly smiled at her and touched her face. She kissed her forehead and lips.

''I missed you so much my love…''


	3. Chapter 3

''_I missed you so much my love…''_

Holly's kiss felt like coming home. It felt like someone brought Gail to life and breathed air into her lungs. They were kissing for some time and then Gail remembered what happened before and moved away. She slapped Holly so hard that it bruised after some time.

''Don't you dare touch me Holly Marie Stewart! Don't you dare!''

''I'm sorry…I just couldn't help it… Having you near me again is…. Like…. I can't explain….''

''Don't! I can't now…. Please leave it for now… We have more important things to handle.''

In next two weeks, Gail spent all her time with Holly in the hospital. Her face healed and some of the bruises faded. Her legs were healing well and doctors were satisfied with the progress. She was about to go home. She and Gail were glad that she could finally go home. Gail stepped out of the room to call Steve.

''Hey, it's me…''

''Gail… Where are you… We are out of our minds…. Mom wanted to pull some strings to find you…''

''We are coming home in three days…''

''We?''

''Me and…Holly…''

''Holly? As in Holly Stewart….your long lost wife?''

''Yes, that one…''

''Why? How?''

''Long story… I need you to wait for us at the airport…''

''Gail, I hope you know what are you getting into…''

''Steve, she is my wife and that is the only thing that matters to me.''

''Take care sis…''

''I will… Oh, and get Mia to clean the house.''

''Yes, I will…''

Gail came back to the room and Holly stopped reading her book.

''Everything OK?''

''Yes, I talked to Steve and told him we are coming home on Wenesday. You are leaving the hospital in the morning and it will take me about two days to pack your apartment. After that we return the keys to the dean and we ship your things home.''

''I will live with you?''

''Yes, is there any other place you can stay?''

''No…''

''That settles it… You are coming home with me…''

''Gail, what does that mean?''

''I don't know… Give me some time…''

In the morning Gail came with clothes for Holly. She brought her gray sweats and out of her bag she grabbed Holly's favorite flannel shirt. It was old and worn out, but Gail loved it so much.

''You kept it?''

''I kept a lot of things Holly…''

''Thank you…''

''You're welcome…''

Gail helped her get dressed and it was an awkward moment. She haven't seen her naked in years and now she had to put on her underwear and bra. Before that she gave her sponge bath so nurse would teach her how to wash her. Gail took her brush out of the bag and took off Holly's cap. Her hair flew out of it and it was longer than Gail remembers it. It was almost to the middle of her back. Funny thing was that her hair was the same length. She didn't cut it much because she knew how much Holly loved it.

''You will have to wash her hair in the salon, or we can do it now in the hospital.''

''Holly, want to do it now?''

She nodded so, Gail and nurse washed her hair. Nurse left the room and Gail stayed to dry it. It took them about hour to dry it and finish getting her ready to leave. Gail and Holly signed all the things they had to and male nurses placed her in the wheel chair. Getting Holly into her apartment was not too hard because it was on the ground floor. Gail liked it. It was small and cozy. She helped Holly to bed and went to kitchen to make them something to eat. Since the fridge was empty, Gail went shopping. She stocked the fridge for next three days and got boxes to pack Holly's things. She started with the kitchen. There was not much to pack. Holly told her what was hers and what things she found in the apartment were. It took Gail three hours to pack kitchen and Holly's clothes. They were in carefully labeled boxes and Holly found it funny how Gail never lost her sense for neat packing. She did the same thing when they were moving in together. She decided to pack living room and bedroom last. She made lunch for them and brought the food to Holly. They ate in silence.

''Gail..''

''Yes?''

''Are you OK?''

''I don't know…''

''What is bothering you?''

''A lot of things Holly.''

''Care to share?''

''How fucked up this is…''

''What?''

''Our situation… If this accident didn't happen I wouldn't have seen you at all. You would have sent me divorce papers and we would be done without saying a word to each other…''

''Irene is grate girl, but… I never thought about marrying her or anyone else for that matter. I never forgot about you Gail.''

''Than why did you date her?''

''I believed you moved on…''

'' I didn't…''

''I know that now…''

Gail had to end that conversation. She was not ready…

''Want some more chicken?''

''No, I'm fine… Maybe my pain meds?''

''O.K. I'll get them for you…''

Gail gave her pain meds and Holly fell asleep. She woke up around eight and Gail joined her in the bedroom. They were watching a movie. It was some stupid movie they saw million times, but anything was good to brake the ice.

''Come to bed, you are not confortable on that chair…''

''I'm fine…''

''Gail…''

''Holly, I'm not here to make out with you…. I'm here to take you home and take care of you…and that's all there is Holly.''

''Gail, I will not take advantage of you…''

Gail took a deep breath and realized she took it too far this time.

''I know… Sorry…''

She got to bed on the opposite side of Holly and made herself confortable. After few hours it seemed very familiar to be in bed like that, share popcorn and watch pointless movie. Holly fell asleep and Gail took off her glasses and placed them on the table beside the bed. She got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower and change into her pajamas. When she got out, she couldn't bring herself to sleep on the sofa. She sneaked back to bed and for some time she just looked at Holly sleeping beside her. She woke up with her head on Holly's chest and Holly playing with her hair that got out of the bun she made before falling asleep. She nuzzled to her neck and kissed it. It felt so good… She was so happy to be in Holly's arms….AND THAN SHE REALIZED SHE IS IN HOLLY'S ARMS. She jumped away from her and just stood looking at her. Holly was confused with the reaction Gail had.

''Gail, are you OK?''

''What happened? How did it happen?''

''I don't know. I woke up with you sleeping on me…''

''That was a mistake… That shouldn't have happened…''

''But it did…''

''I have to go to the bathroom…''

Gail went in there and locked herself in. She cried on the floor and couldn't stop sobbing… Holly heard her crying and she called for her.

''Please come back to the room. I can't get out of the bed… Please…''

Gail got back and Holly saw her lip trembling. She opened her arms and Gail got into them. She continued crying and Holly kept stroking her hair and kissing her temple and just holding her. Gail got herself of Holly's chest and looked her in the eyes. She saw traces of Holly she loved and remembered. She kissed her with all she had and then run out of the room. She came back an hour later with food for Holly…

''What now Gail?''

''What do you mean?''

''What happens when we get to Toronto?''

''We work on your health and then we'll see…''

''Do you want to end our marriage?''

''We can't do it until you need medical help…''

''I am not asking you that… I am asking do you want to divorce me?''

''I don't know…I am not the same person… You changed too… We can't go back to being us just like that…''

''What do we do Gail? We will live together for months….''

''We will have to work on it…''

''Do you want to work on us?''

''Is there us Holly?''

''I think there might be… You said you would stay married to me till the day you die… Do you still want it?''

''Do you?''

''I asked you first Gail…''

''I do, but I'm scared…''

''Of what?''

''Failing… You leaving again… Of not surviving it again….of not knowing how to be a wife after so much time I spent alone and single…''

''Gail, we share a lot of fears…But, my question is, are you ready to start over and give us a clean slate?''

''It's not simple…''

''It never was, but, I am asking you… something else…''

''Yes, to me it's worth it…''

Holly smiled…

''But, we have to start from the very beginning…. Like we just met…''

''I think I could do that… We did just meet in a way… It has been a long time Gail…''

''Yes, it has…''

''So, Peck… A fresh start?''

Holly offered a hand for Gail to shake… Gail put her hands around her neck and unclasped her chain. She took off Holly's ring and placed it back to Holly's finger. There was a small smile on Holly's face.

''I am Peck for people at work…For everyone else…I'm Mrs. Stewart….''

With that she shook Holly's hand…


	4. Chapter 4

It has been two months since they came back home. At first Holly was at home with a very strong male nurse who could move her around and help her with all she needed. Gail got back to work right away so she could take time off when Holly's cast was removed and she needs her in the house. At first it was weird. Holly came back to the place she left nine years ago and it still looked the same. To Holly time was frozen in that house. Gail was giving orders to the nurse and getting ready for work. Holly was impressed how good she looked in her new uniform.

''Who would have thought, Gail Peck is a white shirt….''

''Yes, long time ago I was happy on the streets, but then they had to get me away from there…''

''Why?''

''Later Holly… Not now…''

Steve and the rest of her friends were really surprised to know that Gail took Holly back and that they were living together. Gail didn't let them visit until Holly was out of the cast and at least a bit on her feet. Holly became once again Gail's best kept secret. On the other hand, Holly worked hard. She pushed herself every time more and more. Her doctors and therapist were satisfied with her progress but also worried she has been forcing her body too much. Every weekend, she and Gail walked for few hours and Gail made her make brakes when she was tired. Holly was making progress and every day she and Gail bonded more. It almost got back to that phase little bit after Frank's and Noelle's wedding. Since Holly was not working yet, she made sure to make lunch for Gail every day and they ate at the small park near the station. They ate there even when they were dating. There was a bench under the old tree and that was their spot. They would meet there every day around two. Holly would bring food or they would get it from some of their places and eat there in the park. That gave them chance to talk about things. They felt like they were dating again and they liked it. There was no physical contact, except when it happens during the night and they wake up all over each other. But in time they learned to pretend it didn't happen. When Gail was at work, Holly was reading her magazines some books she got online and cook and clean around the house. Then she would bring the food to Gail or they would just pick up food from somewhere. They liked their new rhythm and activities. Sometimes, Holly would meet up with her after work and they would go for dinner or somewhere for a drink. They didn't go to Penny because they wanted to keep it away from Gail's friends and people from work. They wanted to get back to them so they could be comfortable with bigger crowd.

''When can I start working?''

''Did you doctor say something about that? You know there is a spot waiting for you in the morgue…''

''I know… There is part of me that can't wait to work again with all the people I used to, but on the other hand, I'm scared… It has been very long time since we worked together. They saw what happened, they were there and they don't love me anymore…''

''Holly, you are damn good expert and who cares what they think… You do your job and let them do theirs…And if they say something, send them to me. I'll handle them…''

''Gail, that is not what I want…''

''I don't care. Out of work they can say or do things, but at work… They must respect you… Are we clear?''

''Yes, Chief superintendent…''

''Thank you, Doctor Stewart….''

Holly's first ''debut'' with the crowd was at Oliver's. His daughter graduated high school and they made huge party. Almost entire 15th was there. Gail and Holly came last because Gail had some things to finish up before they left. Holly knew she was doing her work upfront because she was nervous, so was Holly. They got out of the car and approached the house. Gail rung the bell and a women Holly didn't recognize at first opened the door.

''Hi Zoe… Congratulations!''

''Thank you Gail…. Oliver and the girls are in the garden.''

Zoe gave a look to Holly… She knew Gail was married and that it was complicated, but she never saw Gail with anyone for years. At every party Oliver made, she was always alone. Gail went to the kitchen and Holly stood with Zoe in the anteroom. Zoe decided to introduce herself and find out who is Gail with that way.

''I'm Zoe, Oliver's ex-wife…''

''I'm Holly… I'm Gail's wife…''

That was new… She didn't know wife was back…

''Oh…''

Gail came and interrupted this awkward moment.

''They are in the garden, let's go…''

''Nice to meet you Zoe…''

''You too Holly…''

They were walking towards the garden.

''What was that Holly?''

''She was surprised when she heard I was the wife…''

''Oh…''

''Yes…''

Gail held the door handle and took a deep breath…

''Here we go…''

They got into the garden and all the talk died. They all knew Holly was back, but no one has seen her until that day. Only Steve saw her, but just for few minutes. Gail kept Holly safe from all of them and she meant it when she said not to mess with Holly. Holly saw some old faces, some new faces but most of all she saw confusion. They all waited for something to happen… Gail stepped up in front of her.

''O.K. For you who don't know, this is Dr. Holly Stewart. She will be working in the morgue from this Monday. Some of you will have pleasure to run to her office for all kinds of results and questions about your cases. Outside of work, it is important for you to know she is my wife so we could avoid all the stories about Chief Superintendent's affairs or other things that could cross your mind. As I said long time ago… I am married and now some of you who don't know Holly have chance to see her and make sure she exists.''

Gail looked at some of surprised faces. Younger police officers never saw Holly and they only heard some version of what happened between them.

''Let's eat and have fun now…''

Gail took Holly's hand and led her to the table with drinks. They both took water and their friends started approaching one by one. First was Tracy.

''It is nice to see you back Holly… I hope you are here to stay this time…''

Gail gave her a look, but Tracy didn't pay attention to it. Tracy lied to her that Steve was looking for her so she could have few moments with Holly alone.

''You hurt her so much. We had to pick up pretty bad pieces of her after you left. She did some crazy stuff. I believed we could have buried her few times by now…''

''What?''

''Oh, she didn't tell you how she made it so fast to her position?''

''No…''

''Let her tell you… You'll see how hurt and broken she was.''

''Tracy, I know I made a mistake, but things were more complicated than you think. I did came back and saw her on a date. I believed she moved on… I was sure she did.''

''Do you love her?''

Holly smiled…

''I always did…''

''Than, make her happy and give her everything she missed in these years.''

''I will give my best to do so…I want her to be happy and I want to be the cause of that happiness.''

''I hope you will be.''

''Me too.''

Gail came back to them looking very angry at Tracy…''

''Steve didn't want to see me…''

''Oh, my bad…''

With that she left.

''What did she tell you?''

Holly smiled…

''Nothing… Don't worry… Whatever secret you have, it's safe and it is waiting for you to tell me. Relax, none of them is going to tell on you… I promise…''

''I just don't like them studying our relationship and every step we make. I bet they are analizing it all.''

''Gail, try to relax…''

Holly saw two swings in the far part of the garden…

''Come with me...''

Gail followed and started laughing when she realized where they were going.

''We are not kids…''

''Maybe, but we can be for few moments… You know, there is study that says that people like to do things they did in their childhood so they would feel safe as they felt at that moment…''

Gail put her finger on Holly's mouth…

''Shut up Nerd…''

Holly smiled at her. That was nickname Gail used for her. It was their thing… Gail usually called her nerd when they were alone and it led to some heated make out sessions.

''Nerd? We are back to that….Sunshine….''

Gail tried to give her an evil look but it ended up in them bursting into very contagious laughter. A lot of people there turned to see who is laughing and were shocked to know it was Gail. Some of them never saw her laugh and her friends smiled at the fact Gail they loved and knew was coming back. Regardless of how angry they were at Holly, they were becoming grateful that their Gail was making a comeback. She didn't like the way they were staring at them. She didn't like the attention…

''Do you think you can give your little army an order not to stare at us? Would they obey after hearing you giggle?''

''I hate you right now…''

''I know…''

''Don't mess with me Nerd…''

''That is my spousal privilege….''

''Oh, and what is mine?''

''I don't know… You tell me?''

Gail blushed…

''Oh, now I'm very curious… What is going on in your mind…Mrs. Stewart?''

''Shut up Nerd!''

''Oh, bossy pants…''

Gail pulled Holly's swing towards her and Holly was just few millimeters away from her…''

''I think you should stop talking…Nerd…''

With that Gail closed the gap between them and kissed Holly after very long time…


	5. Chapter 5

Party at Oliver's was fun. She and Holly sheared a kiss in public and it was a big thing for them. They were not still at the best moment, but they agreed that they must be working on their relationship. Shearing a kiss in public was confirmation to all that they are back on and that they haven't seen the last of them. Oliver's younger daughter looked at them with admiration and she looked for a moment when they would be alone so she could approach them. They were eating at the swings and she came to them.

''Hey Bella, haven't seen you around for a long time…''

''Hi aunt Gail…. I was…not in a mood to hang out with people…''

''What is wrong?''

''Can I talk to you?''

''Sure…''

Holly was about to leave them alone, but she stopped her.

''I meant two of you…''

''Oh, sure…''

''I need you not to tell this to my dad…''

''I can't hide things from him…''

Holly elbowed her and Gail stopped talking.

''You can tell us whatever you want. We will not give away your secret…''

Gail gave Holly surprised look, but Holly didn't let her ruin the chance for Bella to speak…

''How did you know?''

''Know what?''

Holly rolled her eyes at Gail and answered the question… There could be only one reason why she would talk to two of them. She didn't know Holly enough to talk about any other subject. THAT was the only thing they had uncommon at that moment.

''I was in second year of high school and there was one very pretty girl. Her name was Francesca and she was one of the most attractive girls in my PE. She was athletic, amazing ball player and she became someone I couldn't get out of my mind. We became friends and after that we dated for few months. She was my first love and she broke my heart. She left me for Jessica Stone, a cheerleader. And on the other hand, I never showed any interest in boys. Never even found them attractive. I always liked girls.''

Gail was surprised by the meaning question…. She answered it after Holly finished her story.

''Unlike Holly, I don't know how to answer it. I can't label myself since she is the only woman I ever had anything with. Before her I dated men. And after…. I never had interest in anyone. They set me up to dates with both man and woman…To me, it was never a gender thing, and to me it was Holly thing. I fell for her and it still lasts…''

Bella nodded…

''Why do you ask?''

Holly looked at her…

''Bella, are you gay?''

''I don't know… I have feelings for my best friend…''

''Oh, Bella…''

Holly put her hand on Bella's shoulder…

''What?''

''The oldest story in the book… Falling for a perfectly straight best friend who has no clue what you feel. Happened to me almost twice…''

''How did you survive it?''

''First time it was very hard. We were college roommates. She was poster child for a straight girl. Perfect daughter, every boy's and mine dream. I never told her and it went that far that I was her maid of honor.''

''Ouch! And the second time?''

Gail was not sure she was ready to listen about Holly's big loves…

''Second time…''

Holly smiled…

''The girl married me…''

Gail looked at her and smiled… Holly pecked her lips and hugged her from behind…

''It turned out she was not that straight and she married me.''

''You sweet talker…''

''I was never a sweet talker… I just knew how to battle your demons and didn't fall for your crap Peck…''

''Oh, really?''

''Yes… I was aware from the start who you are and how different you were from what you gave other people to see.''

''Oh, so now you are an expert for girls Holly… Is that the subject you got the PhD in?''

''No, the subject is something different I can't talk about in front of minors….''

Gail turned red…

''Oh…That is a rather interesting subject…''

''Sure is Mrs. Stewart…''

Holly winked at her and Gail blushed even more.

''I'll leave you two… I think I need to think about it…Before I say something more to someone else. I can't come out to my parents without being sure it's not just her or some escape.''

When Holly got her head out of the gutter, she turned to Bella.

''I get it… It took me two years to come out to my parents. Anything you need, you call us… OK?''

Before Bella left them, Oliver came buy…

''What are you talking about…?''

Gail and Bella had faces like they were caught doing something very bad…But Holly saved the day.

''Well, Oliver…. since she is bored to death with your cop stories, she asked about super cool things I do… What can I say Shaw… My job is more interesting…''

Oliver was surprised. Bella was always his biggest fan and she always was so proud of her dad's job.

''You think being a cop is boring Bella?''

''No, but being pathologist sounds amazing…''

''But you said I had the best job…''

''I was five, dad… And that was before you were hurt, abducted and all…''

Oliver was sad. Holly's little white lie really hurt him. He left them to say good bye to some guests.

''He is sad…''

''Sorry, that was the best I could think of in such a short time.''

''Don't worry… You just have to explain to me what on Earth is your job… It sounds so nerdy…. Probably sitting at the lab and playing with microscopes and such nerdy things…''

Gail almost fell from the swing how hard she was laughing.

''Yes, how did you know? You know, sometimes I had to bring her food because she forgot to eat.''

''You used that food as an excuse to see me. You had to have reason to come down and see me. You liked me much earlier than you dared to admit it…''

''Really?''

''Yes, because as soon as you landed this hot doctor you were not that often bringing me food to the lab...''

''Yes, because I had much better make out spots for us that don't smell like rotten flash and all the chemicals you use… The bench, that small place near the theater, my car somewhere hidden… Are you complaining about that?''

''No, we made up for leaving the lab when you would make me wear my lab coat at home…''

''That was hot… You and your nerdy ways…''

''I know… I noticed how you looked at me when I was in my scrubs…''

''What can I say… I have thing for girls in uniform…''

''Oh, you do? Some crush on the job?''

''Well, there was that one time in the locker room…''

''Oh, my… I totally forgot about that one… Oliver almost caught us…''

''I didn't want to hear that aunt Gail…''

''Then don't listen to it…''

Bella left them and Gail kissed her again. There was a lot of tension between them. Gail wanted more of Holly but she was still pretty scared of what could happen. Holly took her hand and whispered to her.

''Let's go home…''


	6. Chapter 6

They got out of the car and Holly stopped.

''Gail, give me the keys….''

''What?''

''Give me the car keys…''

''What for?''

''I need to take a ride… Have some time…alone…''

''Why? What is going on?''

''I need some distance…''

''Why?''

''Because if I go into that house with you I will not stop… I will not be able to control myself…''

''Holly?''

''I want you Gail and I don't want to mess things up with sex…''

Gail looked at her surprised.

''How is that possible?''

'' I want us to be in a good place before we do anything…''

''And we are not?''

''I'm not so sure we are ready… It could have two scenarios. One is, that we keep having mind blowing sex entire weekend and on our lunch brakes, like we used to do, and the other is that you start running for your life because you are scared of what is going on with us… I don't want us to pretend like nothing happened, like we do every morning we wake up pretty tangled into each other…''

Gail came to her and took her hand..

''How about we go for a walk together and then see what next. I am not going to lie and say I'm not scared, but I believe in our strong will and ability to control our…urges…''

They walked for two hours and went back home. Gail was taking a shower and Holly was in the living room reading her book. It was already around eleven and it was time for bed. Gail emerged from the bedroom to take the water.

''You can use the bathroom now.''

''OK.''

Holly took a long cold shower and returned to the room. Gail was in bed watching a movie. Holly got in and went back to reading. Gail would sneak a glance toward Holly's direction and mumble something about being a coward. When the movie ended, Gail turned off the TV and her light. She took Holly's book and glasses and Holly looked at her surprised.

''We are not having sex tonight, but I want to make out and cuddle… After that I want you to hold me and to fall asleep on my side with you as a big spoon. That is a good start.''

That made Holly laugh…

''We have to make up the ground rules… There is no hands on skin… You can touch the clothes, but no skin…''

Holly was laughing even more now.

''You are insane Gail…''

''Maybe, but I need rules for this. I want this to happen and I know you want it too.''

''Fine, let's try it…''

''O.K.''

They had no idea who was supposed to start first. They wanted it, but now the question was who would be brave enough to make the first move. Holly took it upon herself to start their little make out session. Gail's first instinct was to reach for Holly's hair. She loved how it felt in her hands. She heard Holly moan and she knew she was doing the right things to get Holly in the mood. As it was expected, it was Gail who broke the rules. She could never stick to any rule, even ones that had nothing to do with sex. It was simply Gail being Gail. Her hands ended under Holly's shirt touching all they could. It felt so good to feel Holly once again…

''Wandering hands, that is against the rules….''

''I'm Chief Superintendent and my direct order is to break the rules…all of them… I promise, I will not run… This time the cat will stay on the tree.''

Holly was the one with more control over her actions.

''No, not tonight… Give us some time…I promise it will be amazing…''

''But I want you…''

''I want you too…But…Not that soon…''

''It has been nine years Holly…It's not soon…''

''But I just came back…''

''Two months ago…''

Gail jumped from the bed and turned towards the bathroom.

''Let's face it… You don't love me anymore…''

''I do… I love you so much…''

''Than why? Did I get too old?''

''No… You are still beautiful and sexy…''

''But not like that three year old you were with… I'm almost forty… I don't look that well anymore…''

''Gail, stop! It has nothing to do with Irene. I think you are sexy, fun, amazing…''

''But not good enough for you to sleep with me…''

''I do want to sleep with you Gail…''

''No, you don't…''

Holly got off the bed and came close to her. She took her hand and took her to bed. Without a word she stripped her of the pajamas and Gail stood naked in front of her wife after so long. Holly lightly pushed to bed and Gail just fell. Holly was very determined to show Gail how wanted she was. Gail didn't remember ever being this nervous in her life. Holly stripped too and stood in front of Gail naked and never looking better in her life. Gail licked her own lips and waited for Holly to come to bed.

''You are annoying Gail Peck and you sometimes get on my very last nerve… But you are mine and now I'm going to show you how mine you are.''

She got into the bed and spent entire night making love to Gail. At first she was a bit rough. There was still a lot of anger and pain to work on, but as the time went by, it got much different. They were more gentle and loving towards the other one.

''I love you Holly…''

''I love you too…''

''Don't you ever dare leave again… I promise I will kill you if you try…''

''I will not…''

Gail slept on Holly's chest. It felt so good to be that close again and to feel her. Holly felt like they were finally home. She loved the feeling of Gail falling apart in her arms and that smile that was always on her lips after they made love. Holly loved these faces she made and she loved her. They were woken up by someone knocking at the door. Gail put on her robe and went to open the door. Her parents were at the door and she was surprised to see them.

''What brings you here?''

''Is it true?''

''What?''

''Don't play dumb with me… Is she really here?''

Before she could answer, Holly showed up at the bedroom door.

''Hi Elaine….Peter….''

''So, you are back?''

''I am…''

''Why?''

''I beg your pardon?''

''Why are you back?''

''Gail wanted me to come home…''

''You left all these years ago… Why now?''

''I was in an accident and they found Gail as my next of keen.''

''And?''

''She got me home…''

''I can't believe this… You are back together like nothing happened…How long was this going on?''

''About two months mom.''

''I had to hear from the some officers who were at Oliver's that she and you are back on?''

''Mom, we just got back together. We lived together for some time, now we are officially on again.''

''I hope you know what you are doing…''

''We know mom…''

Gail's dad waved at them and left their apartment.

''That was very warm welcome.''

''Who cares. We are good and we will get even better…''

Gail kissed her and took her to the bedroom. She took off her and Holly's robe and they got back to bed.

''I just want to be near you and enjoy having you here.''

''Me too…''

There was short silence.

''Holly, how did you and that girl happen?''

''Irene?''

''Yes…''

''She was the only person I was seeing. It started about less than two years ago. She was scared of doing her pathology assignments and afraid to being alone in the morgue. It can be creepy and it comes from me.''

''I never thought you find it creepy…''

''I did…Long time ago…''

''I want to know more.''

''Oh… I decided to help her by being there when she has to work. In the beginning, I was in the room, and by the end I was in my office. She was a nice kid; she had something so gentle and optimistic to her that I was attracted to it. I wanted to come home, but after seeing you on that date I believed I had nothing to come back to. So, I let myself be with her. It was not serious in my eyes. We spent very little time together, she was never in my apartment and sex didn't happen often… I really tried to have normal thing going on with her, but I couldn't. I have no idea where did she get idea to propose to me. I swear Gail; our relationship was far from that stage. There was nothing to indicate we should be heading in that direction.''

''Why would she think it was?''

''Maybe she fell in love? Maybe she believed it was what I wanted and believed I kept her on the distance because I wanted her to make that step… I have no idea Gail. But I know I didn't want to marry her. That night I run into my car and started driving. All I could think of was you. I remembered your birthday and the fact we were married two hours after I asked you to marry me with a ribbon from my shirt…''

''I still have it somewhere…''

''You do?''

''Yes… And I loved that we only had wedding rings…. We had no money for anything else. It was few days before pay day and that's why we only got the wedding rings. We got our marriage licenses and got married fifteen minutes later. I think they looked at us like we were crazy…''

''We were Gail. It was nine o clock and we got married in jeans and boots and police uniform. No fancy dresses no flashing hot looks, just plane us…''

''I never wanted a fancy wedding….''

''I just wanted you… And that's when I knew I had to come back home regardless of what was going on here. I had to try to see you Gail. I had at least to say I was sorry for leaving.''

''Why did you leave?''

''I had to… I had to make name for myself. There was large amount of people saying that your mother keeps me there and works on people to give me funding for all of my work.''

''But she never did it…She never liked you and she was so pissed for us being married and very out with it.''

''But that is what we knew, not the rest of the world.''

''I know… I hated them all. They looked at us like we were less worthy and less women…''

''Sometimes I felt it too in the lab.''

''Pigs… Lucky for them some of them retired…''

''Gail, revenge will bring you nowhere…''

''Just a little…''

''No…''

''So? You left me to prove a point?''

''Yes, I wanted them to see I can be good even without your mother and her ''protection''. I never regretted leaving. I got so much out of that work, but I regretted leaving you…''

''Don't do it again to me…''

''I will not…''

''But you know that now there will be storied that you have your job because you are my wife?''

''And now I don't care. Now I'm not that insecure… I am ready to be who I am and I don't care if I am married to you or not. I am great at my work and I don't care about them… I promise….''

''We'll manage Holly. I changed too…''

''Do I get the story of your promotions?''

Gail's smile faded…

''Not today love… Soon…''

''O.K.''

They made love again and fell asleep. They napped for an hour or so and after that they were woken up by the phone.

'' Chief Superintendent…Yes….She is here…. Let me ask her….''

''Holly, can you take over the case today?''

She nodded and Gail continued the talk.

''Fine…. She'll do it… Tell me where the body….O.K is.''

She hung up and looked at Holly…

''And so it beguines…''

''Yes…''

She got out of bed and got dressed. She was greeted by the crew at the crime scene and she used spare kit from the pathologist's car. She was assisting the pathologist on the scene, but unofficially she was the one giving everyone what to do. It was her turn to go and see the body… Body was in a small cave and it was not easy to get to it. It was on the floor and already covered with white sheet. Holly asked officers who found the body about what they saw around the body and on it and they gave her pretty detailed descriptions. She lifted the sheet and stayed in shock. She got off the floor and took one of the officers on the side.

''Tell them to call for Chief superintendent… She has to come here as soon as she can.''

''She is not coming to the scenes.. She is the white shirt…''

''I know… But for this she will. Tell her Dr. Stewart called her….''

They went to call Gail and Holly stayed to look at the body…


	7. Chapter 7

Gail came as soon as she could and she was told where to find Holly. Holly was on the floor examining the body when Gail entered the cave.

''Dr. Stewart, you asked for me…''

''Yes C.S. Peck… This seemed very familiar….''

Holly moved from the body and Gail came closer to take the look.

''Oh, my…''

''That was my first comment….''

''So, someone is copying his murders….''

''Or, he got out… I'll know more after I do all the things I need to do…''

'' This was supposed to be a very nice and quiet Sunday….''

''I know…''

Holly turned towards the technician.

''You may take the body away… I'll be there as soon as I can.''

''Yes, Dr. Stewart.''

They were finally alone when Gail looked at her with mixture of fear and surprise.

''What on Earth is this Holly? Is it…HIM?''

''I have no idea… I can't think now… I need to calm down and then work this case as any other case I get. If I find some things match the case I will then rule it as something we must look into…''

Gail looked around and when she was sure they were alone, she came closer to Holly and gave her pretty hot kiss. Holly was surprised by this.

''I just had to… I hate this feeling I have now. I hate this feeling of not being sure…''

''Babe, it will be fine…''

''Holly, if it was him…by any chances…we are not safe… I'm scared…''

''So am I babe…''

''Ten years ago you almost died…''

''Gail…. Stop! I am here and alive… Past is past…''

They left the cave and some officers stayed behind to secure and mark the place. Gail told them they would be guarding the place until Holly and the lab have all they need. Kids loved to sneak in for some sexy time, so rookies had to keep it off limits for some time.

Holly was back in the morgue and Gail went back to the station. She took her spare uniform and got all the files on Richard Black a.k.a The Cavemen. He was one of the serial killers Gail had the ''honor'' to lock up after almost fifteen years of killing. She and Holly worked his case and they closed it together. He was convicted thanks to Holly and her forensic evidence and hair she found on one of the victims. But it was not that simple and nice. Before he was arrested, he broke into the morgue and assaulted Holly with a knife. She was stabbed into her stomach and she barely made it. She was lucky that Gail came to see her and found her bleeding on the floor. Gail shot him in the shoulder, and handcuffed him to the table. Holly was conscious so she gave her instructions how to save her life, or at least keep her alive until ambulance comes. Now she had flashback to that night and Holly in pool of blood. If she came few seconds later, he would have killed Holly. Gail was not happy to relive all these things, but she had to. Those crime scene photos were something that made her sick even after so much time. In her career she saw a lot of things and she grew accustomed to a lot of things, but this… This was still nightmare for her. She hated her job because of things like this. Since that day she could relate to Holly's fear about her being safe and leaving the house to go to work. Before seeing Holly hurt, she could never completely understand why Holly hated that she was a police officer. It seemed funny to her that she would find Holly praying for her in secret. Now, it was not funny anymore. She hated all these fears coming back to her again and memories hunting her. She and Holly put that behind them and they decided to ignore the scar on Holly's skin and pretend it never happened. Even recently, when they made love, Gail gave her best not to look where the scar was. Holly had it removed, but you could still see the very thin line scar once was. She was happy that Black was locked and he was supposed to be there for life. She picked up her phone and dialed a number of the federal jail.

''This is C.S. Peck, I'm calling about Black… Is he there?''

''Where else he would be? Off course he is there…''

''In want to see him…''

''There is not much to see. He…. There was a riot and he was burned with some chemicals couple months ago…''

''I want to see him… I'll be there by the end of the week.''

''O.K. We will be expecting you.''

Holly was elbows deep in the girl when Gail came to see her. She didn't want Gail to say something that could make her feel embarrassed after, so she hinted that she was not alone. Two rookies were sitting there trying not to puke their last ten meals…

''C.S. Peck, nice to see you here… What can we do for you?''

Gail was surprised by the way Holly addressed her, but later she realized they were not alone.

''Anything you can tell me now about the body….''

''It's in pretty bad shape… She was at the age between eighteen and twenty years of age.''

She gave Gail and the rookies pretty detailed description of the body and what happened to the girl. She offered few different scenarios and told them what she believes is the most probable. Rookies changed colors and she was sorry for them. She knew there were some of them that took longer to get used to it and all the things they see in their career. At one point Holly stopped working. She put the scalpel on the tray and looked at Gail.

''I need someone to do this instead of me…''

''Why?''

''Because I found our picture inside of her stomach… He made her eat it…''

Rookies run out out of the morgue to throw up and Gail looked at Holly in shock…. She came closer to Holly and they opened the entire picture… It was made out of two photographs. One part was two of them more than ten years ago. Gail was in her uniform, her hair in braid and Holly was in her scrubs. It looked like they were coming back from lunch. They were standing at the entrance to the morgue and were kissing. Other part was two of them at their bench at the park kissing. It was made few days ago.

'' We are not safe... No one is safe…''

''We must tell someone…''

''I know. I will talk to someone Holly. Don't worry.''

On their way home, Gail called her friends and they all checked their house and alarm system. Holly felt safer that way. Gail gave her small gun and told her to keep it near. Holly hated guns. She had so many people at her table as a consequence of shooting. Gail kept one gun on the nightstand and the other was at Holly's side. She locked all the doors, secured the windows and turned their alarm on. She was waiting. They were still not sure if it was the caveman or some copycat in search for revenge. They turned off their lights and got into bed. They got close to each other and Holly took her hand. Gail took a deep breath and spoke….

''Holly, I want you to know I am going to see him… I have to see if it is him…''

''Why?''

''I have to look him in the eyes and tell him how he didn't brake me…or you….''

''But he did….''

''How?''

''Look at us… We are a mess… We lock our door like we never did. We have ten people checking up the house and we have guns on the nightstands. I think it is safe to say we are scared and out of our mind with fear.''

''That is why I have to see him. I need someone from the forensic…''

''Why?''

''They said he was burned in some fight. I want to make sure it is him and not some poor man…''

''O.K. I'll make sure to send someone…''

Gail kissed her and took her into her arms.

''I love you… No matter what happens… I promise we will make it work and survive it…''

''I hope we will… We must…''

They fell asleep and in the middle of the night Gail was woken up from the dream by Holly's screams. She had a nightmare about that night in the morgue. She cried, screamed and held her stomach, where she was stabbed. She begged him not to do it and to leave her alone. Gail woke her up and tried to calm her.

''It's fine… You are fine baby….''

''I can't do it again Gail… I know I can't….''

''What?''

''I can't relive it again… I need to be safe and sure we are not going to be hurt again…''

''He will not hurt us again. I will not let it happen…''

''He is part of the reason…''

''Reason for what?''

''Reason I left… I left because of him. I couldn't take it Gail. That is why I had to leave…''

''What?''

'' I left because I saw him everywhere…. I couldn't stand to be alone. I know you took all these night shifts to be a good friend to Chris and Dove who had their babies, but… I didn't sleep well without you. I could see and feel him everywhere. I couldn't stay alone in the morgue. I had panic attacks. I was jumping every time I heard something down there. I felt so trapped. I went to the therapy, but it was not helping me. I had to do something more drastic. I had to work in the same room I was stabbed. Do you know that there was still my blood everywhere when I came back to work? No one cleaned it up because police took off the tape on that morning. I had to work looking at my own blood for twelwe hours. I was so bad Gail… I started drinking more and more Gail. I was on the verge of becoming alcoholic…I could sleep only when I'm drunk.''

Gail's eyes were full of tears…

''And you never told me that?''

''I didn't have to… We worked different shifts. There were few nights we would spend time in bed at the same time. I had no reason to put that on you.''

''I am your wife. It was part of me too. I had to know.., I wanted to know…''

''I wanted to tell you, but you started your detective rotations, you had your life figured out. I was the one who was lost and scared… I had to go and start over. It was never matter of love. I loved you so much at the moment I left. It broke my heart Gail, but I had to… I was so lost...''

''Will you do it again Holly?''


	8. Chapter 8

''Will you do it again Holly? Would you just pick up and leave? ''

She was surprised by the question she asked. Why did she doubt Holly now? They promised to try and work things out. She saw pain and something else on Holly's face. She looked like she was caught doing something wrong.

''I would…''

Gail tried to get out of the bed, but Holly stopped her.

'' I would pack my bag and leave as far as I can… I'm scared again and I want us safe. I want us to pack and escape this madness. I've spent most of the day thinking how amazing it would be if we could leave. I would get a job in a teaching hospital and maybe you would decide to have a baby for us. I can picture me coming back home to you and asking about your day and our kids. I would kill for a life like that. But, I know you wouldn't be happy not being here and being a cop. So, I have to suck it in every time I want to run for that door.''

''Are you happy with me Holly?''

''Oh, baby… I am so happy with you. I'm so in love with you, but I worry about you so much. I want you safe and I was calmer knowing you are in the office, but with caveman out… We are not safe.''

''I am asking you will you leave me again?''

''No, I will not. I will stay with you… But, I can't promise I will not want us to leave and have normal life.''

''I will make sure he doesn't touch you Holly, I promise.''

They got back to sleep but the reacted to every sound. It felt so weird to jump at the sound of the wind or any sound that is just normal.

''I hate this Gail… It's driving me insane….''

''I will go to the prison in few hours. I will make sure he is far from us baby…''

''I just can't do it again Gail…''

''You will not. I promise…''

Gail managed to sleep some more and Holly was awake and pretty scared. Gail got up around six in the morning and got ready for her short trip to the prison. Holly got ready for work also. Regardless of removing herself from the case, there were always some other cases she could work or help on. She knew she could compromise investigation if she kept the case, so she chooses to keep as far as she could from the body and the crew working the case. In the morgue she got some looks, but she ignored them. She had a lot on her plate now and she didn't need all the gossip. Holly had two easy cases and she was invited to join some of her coworkers for lunch. They tried to find out more about her and what is her connection to Gail. Gail kept her private life very private and very few people knew she was the wife that left her all these years ago. One of the doctors started with some simple questions like where she studied, what she loved about the job, the way she did some things, procedures she did, interns she liked to work with and these questions that were more work related. Holly answered most of them and her companions were impressed to hear what she did and how far she got.

''So, how do you know Chief superintendent Peck?''

She didn't know what to say. She and Gail never talked about her saying to her coworkers about them being married.

''Why?''

''She seems so distant and cold. She is almost never seen here and pretty unavailable to most of us. And there you are. Your first day on the job and she comes to the crime scene after you called her.''

''First of all, she is not distant or cold… She is just…Gail… Second of all, she worked the case as the rookie and we closed it together. She would have wanted to be there and see it herself. That case marked her a lot and it meant a lot to her. It's not that simple, and I don't want to talk about it…''

''She told you? Wow, that is new… We never believed she would talk about herself. We all agree that she is so high on her horse and she never hangs out with people. Sometimes she goes to Penny with some of her police officers, but we haven't seen her really relaxed or with someone. Rumor has it that she is married to some hot shot doctor who is not here. Some of the girls in the lab said her husband left her…''

''Stop it right now! You have no idea what happened and why things happened like that. Gail is an amazing officer and that is what you need to know…''

''Why so over protective? You have no idea how she got to her position…''

That was true statement. Holly had no idea…

''She took so many undercover operations that she spent about four years out of the uniform. She was the one to break one of the biggest narco cartels in country. She got promoted for it, but it didn't stop her. She reached the top after getting into the bank by herself with a sniper rifle. She killed all the kidnapers and that is when she got promoted again. We heard that she got some dirt on previous Chief Superintendent and that is how she got her spot. She got him to resign and get her to his spot. Being Peck helped her skip a lot of steps. ''

''Being a Peck was always the best and the worse thing about her. She loved it and hated it. But, Gail is a very complicated, but hard working person who I admire as the officer. She never needed connections to be good cop. She was it without her parents or any other connection she had. She always had to prove herself and work more because of the Peck name and she still does it. She is amazing at what she does.''

''You seem to know her well…''

''I do… I know her pretty well…''

''How?''

''That story is for another day… See you around.''

Holly got her things and went back to her office.

Gail's day was not much better. She spent two hours driving to the jail and she didn't find a lot of willing people to help her resolve the mystery of ''Caveman''. She was taken to his cell and one of the techs took his DNA after a lot of problems with the inmate and the system in jail. Somehow, Gail managed to get them to sign the permit for them to do it. Inmate didn't speak or look her in the eyes. It seemed odd to her. Caveman would always talk to her and make comments about Holly and that night. She had a feeling something was wrong and off but she couldn't explain what was that all about. After few hours in the prison, she headed home. She talked to Holly about meeting up for dinner. She suggested that small Thai place they always went to and Holly didn't mind it. Holly got there first and got to the table. Gail arrived few minutes after her. She kissed her wife and sat down.

''I take it you had a crappie day…''

''I did… Pretty bad day…''

''Why?''

''I don't know. Something was off.''

''O.K. We'll see what is that all about…''

''How about your day lunchbox?''

''I got asked a lot of questions about us and why you got to the scene. I guess some of the people haven't told the new ones that we are married.''

''I hate nosy people…''

''Me too…''

After their meal they took a short walk and Holly got an idea.

''Let's go to Penny…''

''What?''

''We haven't done it in ages… Let's do it...''

''Holly… I… Why would you want to do that?''

''Because we haven't been out in a long time and I don't want this case to take the best of us. I want to keep living normal life for as long as I can. I can't let it take something more away from us Gail. I want us to be normal again…''

Gail knew Holly was right. That case and all it took with it took something big from them. Their relationship failed because of it all and all the stress. Now they had to rebuild their lives and be normal again.

''Fine, let's go…''

Penny was full. A lot of their friends sat at their tables and drank their beers talking about sports or some other things. Girls were at the top of the table talking about Chloe's and Dove's new baby that was due in seven months. They just learned they were expecting that afternoon .Gail noticed that Holly's smile faded in some moments. Chloe talked about morning sickness, Tracy talked about her experience, Andy told them that she can't wait to be a mother and that she and Sam are trying to get pregnant. Holly smiled, but her eyes were sad. Gail was heartbroken. Dove made entire speech how Gail should get Chloe off the streets. She was fascinated how Dove loved to make other people's decisions and things his own thing. She understood that baby was his, but she also knew that it was up to his wife to pick would she work or not. She told him that if she wants to do the desk things, she should come herself and he shouldn't speak for her.

''Is that what she wants, or what you want?''

''I think it is not good for her and the baby to be in the streets.''

''If she wants off the streets, sent her to me… Don't make her decisions.''

''Come on Gail, you would do the same if Holly was pregnant. I know you will do it the moment she sees these blue lines… You will get her off the streets and she will be safe and sound.''

That hurt her. Dove had no idea how painful it was for them that Holly would never be able to have children. After the stabbing, doctor told them that her ovaries and uterus were damaged by some of the blows. He assured them that Holly will never have children. They repaired her organs, but she would never be able to give birth. Gail's eyes were full of tears.

''Excuse me…''

She went out of the Penny and it didn't take Holly long time to find her. Holly saw Gail's eyes were full of tears.

''What happened?''

''I will tell you, but not now… Can we please go home?''

''Sure love…''

They got home and Gail was very silent. Holly went to get some water and Gail stood in the living room looking at the floor. She took a deep breath and came to her wife. She took the water from Holly's hand and put it aside. She took her face and kissed her like her life depended of it. Holly broke the kiss when they needed some air.

''Gail? What is going on?''

''I want you….''

Holly took her hand and led her to the bedroom. Bus as soon as they came, their dynamic changed. Gail was the one in charge. She removed her jeans and shirt and stripped Holly of hers. She kissed her lips, neck, and shoulders. She repeated all the time how much she wants her and how amazing she is. Holly loved hearing this. Gail started kissing her stomach and that was the moment when Holly felt a little uncomfortable. They had silence deal that Gail never touches place around her scars. They were place she was not allowed to go. And now, Gail was there. She was almost touching it and kissing her scars.

''I love you so much….''

''Gail, don't ..Please don't go there….''

Gail set between her wife's legs and started pulling off her panties. Holly's eyes were closed and she was trying to hide her tears.

''Holly, look at me…Open your eyes…''

Holly did it and she saw Gail's face close to her.

''I love YOU… All of you and I don't mind them…They are part of you.''

''They are horrible. I should sue the person who did the stitching. It scared bad.''

''I don't care.''

She kissed Holly's scars and she started sobbing….

''You deserve someone better. I'm damaged Gail. I'm broken.''

''No, you are not… You are amazing, beautiful, smart….''

''You saw the girls there. They already have kids, expect kids or they are trying. We will never have that. I will never give you a child.''

''We may not be blessed with Stewart DNA, but I promise us Peck are not that bad. And plus, imagine how bitchy I would be pregnant and hormonal…''

Holly wiped her eyes.

''You would do that?''

''Yes, I would.''

Holly kissed her with so much love and passion.

''Thank you Gail.''

''There is nothing to thank me for. You are my wife and I love you. It is time to share love with someone else too.''

''Let's find a perfect baby daddy…''

Gail had in mind someone who looks like Holly. She wanted the baby to be looking like Holly as much as it is possible.''

''I want donor who looks like you…If I can't have baby with you, I can have a baby that looks like you.''

Holly flipped them so she was on top of Gail.

''Maybe I can't get you pregnant, but I could make you scream my name.''

''That you can…''

''Before, during, after…. Always…You are mine Gail Stewart and I am yours….''

''Always…''

They made love entire night and in the morning they called in sick and went to Holly's friends practice to see what they should do to get pregnant. He did tests on her and after he got the results and told them that she is ovulating at that moment and suggested they try right away. They looked at each other and nodded. He showed them donors that fit category they choose. Gail picked one that looked like Holly's twin brother. Holly was amused with how much they looked like. Gail was inseminated that day and they decided to keep it their little secret. Doctor told them that it usually doesn't work out the first time, but that they shouldn't lose hope. After they left the clinic, they went for a walk and lunch. They ate at Holly's favorite Thai place. Gail felt like she was doing the most important thing in the world. She was working on becoming a mother. She was making Holly's dream come true and she was having a chance to live different life.

Without even knowing if she was pregnant, Gail changed her life style very much. She would wake up early and walk around the park with Holly, then they would have healthy homemade breakfast, she stopped drinking coffee and she took all the vitamins Holly told her to take. She quit drinking and she cut off her work hours. She and Holly were leaving for work at seven thirty and going home at four in the afternoon. Holly also made sure she was there for Gail. No matter what the test says, they are in that together. She was hoping the test would be positive and she wanted them to be mothers as soon as possible, but the rational doctor in her kept her in check and kept her thinking about how to deal with failure and what to do next. Their friends were intrigued why they are not going out with them and why none of them is giving them the answer. Holly was saying they need some alone time and Gail was saying it's not their business.

Moment of truth came. Gail was very sad because she felt nothing is changing. She was not sick, her breasts were not sensitive and she was not fainting or feeling different. She did the test just because Holly told her that doesn't mean anything. Gail was sure she was not pregnant and she was very sad. Doing this test, she felt like the fact she is not with child is being rubbed into her nose. Holly was the one standing over the stick. She was waiting for results so impatiently and full of hope. When her phone beeped, she checked it. It had two lines, it was positive. Gail and her will became parents in spring.


	9. Chapter 9

They spent entire night making love and giggling like children that did something forbidden. They had their little secret no one knew about.

''I can't believe we are having a baby…''

''I can't believe I'M pregnant…One of the reasons I married you was so you would do this and I would drink and party with our friends after the baby is born….''

Holly's face fell for a moment. Gail regretted what she said.

''I'm so sorry… Me and my big mouth…''

Gail really felt bad about what she said. Sometimes she just… She was speaking without thinking. She remembered some of their old jokes and the ways she teased Holly before…before IT happened to them.

''No, it's fine… I remember you said something like that when we got married… After that crazy weekend we didn't leave the hotel room. You were making jokes about one of us getting pregnant. And I remember saying that I'm almost positive it would be you. I want you to know I'm fine. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it.''

''But I hurt you…''

''Gail, it will never stop hurting when someone talks about it. I will never stop wondering what would it be like to feel and experience it all. But, I have you and we are having a small family love. I can't tell you how happy I am for this baby…. I will not lie to you and say I am not jealous of you, but also I will not be lying to you if I say there is no happier person in your life about this.''

''Unless it's a boy and my mother decides to turn him into a Peck heir…''

''I want OUR baby to be who it wants to be. I don't care that the Peck family is made of cops and Stewarts are mostly lawyers or doctors. I will be happy with our baby being what makes it happy.''

''Holly, I want our baby to be happy. Promise to me you will not let me turn into my mother… Please…''

''I promise, but I believe you wouldn't do that.''

''Why?''

''Because you still remember how she made you feel.''

Gail nuzzled to Holly's neck and kissed her favorite spot.

''You could never make our kid feel that way. You are not your mother and I am not your father. I would never let you say or do any of the things she did to you. I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt our baby like she hurt you.''

''That is why I have no doubts about this. I know I will always have you to call me on my crap and if I do something to hurt our baby or babies…''

''You want more than one?''

''Yes, but not at the same time. I wouldn't handle twins..''

''And if they are?''

''If they are….we are screwed… We will have at least five years of hell.''

''Oh, ever the optimist…''

''I love you Stewart….''

Holly smiled at her wife…

''And I love you too Stewart.''

She placed her hand on Gail's stomach and smirked…

''And Stewart little…''

''Oh, my God! You didn't do that! You didn't call our baby Stewart Little…''

''But it is…. It's little and it is Stewart….since both of us are Stewart… We are starting our small Stewart dynasty…Our parents will go insane when they find out that we are having a baby. Especially mama Peck.''

''She is going to flip when she learns that baby will be Stewart.''

''Why?''

''She wants Peck grandkids.''

''Steve and Tracy could…''

''No, that wouldn't be possible. Tracy can't have more children. She had some complications during her pregnancy and Leo is it for her.''

''Oh, so it's only you…''

''Yap! No pressure!''

Holly kissed her wife's cheek and smiled at her.

''Secretly, you love it that it's up to you if they have grandchildren. You love that you are her only hope.''

''I do… I know that it's immature and all, but… For the first time something will make me more important that Steve. It will be ME who will give her a grandchild, not him. ''

''Gail…''

''What?''

''It's not nice to say that. ''

''It's true. ''

''Gail, listen to me. She loves you. She has some special ways of showing it, but she loves you wery much and she needs you to be there too.''

''Holly, she was never there for me… In the moments I needed her most she was not there.''

''When was that?''

Holly noticed Gail was upset. Something was bothering her.

''Long time ago. Not worth remembering….''

''Gail…''

''Yes?''

''You promised me the story of how you got promoted…''

''Wow, way to find a story for the night…''

''You don't have to…''

''I promised and you want to know…''

She took a deep breath and started her story.

''It started few weeks after you left. I couldn't stand to be at home and to be near the things that reminded me of you. I applied to the undercover operations and I spent pretty much five years going from one to the other.''

''Five years?''

''Yes.''

''That is a lot…''

''I know. So, I had a lot of good results and all of my operations resulted in arrests and all that I could do to get them I did.''

''You mean you risked your life?''

''I always did… You met me and knew I was always the one not to run from the fire and the situations where I was needed.''

''But I have a feeling you did it more than usual.''

''Maybe…''

''Gail?''

''I almost died….''

''What?''

''I almost died during one of the operations. I didn't care much if I live or die. I just wanted to solve it.''

''What happened?''

''I infiltrated as an escort to one of the parties. I had a little to drink….actually…a lot… I needed to get my emotions off. It was my birthday and our anniversary. During my ''session'' with client I ate something with tomatoes on accident...I think it was an accident.''

''Oh, God.''

''Paramedic came on time and they managed to save my life.''

''Gail…''

''At that moment, I didn't care about anything Holly….I missed you so much and I wanted to die.''

Holly was crying.

''I'm so sorry Gail. I never imagined breaking you that much. I'm so sorry.''

''Hey, it's not your fault. I am responsible too…''

''I know… But, it doesn't make me feel any better.''

''Holly, we did some things to each other, but we did the most to ourselves. We are responsible for our actions and things we do. You didn't push me to do any of the things I did. I would probably do most of them regardless of what you said or did.''

''I know, but I still feel bad about all the things that happened. You risked your life and I worked myself to forget it all. I lived in the morgue for first two years. I had such a hard time to sleep in the middle of the bed. I was always leaving you some space… even when I knew it's not real. I would fall asleep on my side of the bed and I was waking up hugging your pillow. I did it to us. And I feel so bad about it.''

Gail sat in the bed and looked at Holly.

''Baby, listen…. Before you left…we were at the bad place. We were not talking; we were not working on our issues. We stopped being friends, we stopped being lovers and we just run from our problems into work and more work...''

Holly nodded and looked at her wife.

''We are back on track and we are working on us. I love you and I think we can make it now because we know how had and bad we had it when we were apart.''

Holly kissed her and small peck turned into something much more. They made love again. Holly made promise to herself that she will pay more attention to Gail in the future and that she will do all she can to make it work. They took a shower together and got ready for work. They made out in the shower and that made Gail laugh like crazy.

''What is it Gail?''

''I feel like teenager again….''

''You were teen mom?''

She slaped Holly's arm…

''No, you dork… I just feel so in love and addicted to our little…moments…''

''Oh, we are talking about sex?''

''Yes….''

''Than why don't you say it…?''

''Fine, I love having sex with you all the time… Happy now?''

''Might be soon…''

She pushed Gail against the wall and it led to more sex. It was time to burst the bubble and face the world. They wanted just a little more time for themselves, but life had other planes. They had to go and be responsible grownups.


	10. Chapter 10

There are so many different ways of being pregnant, and as it usually is, Gail's way was very, very special. She ate hot and spicy food, managed to eat a lot of ice cream and she craved for olives with almonds any time night or day. Lucky for her, Holly stocked their fridge and cupboards with craziest foods so she didn't have to leave the house when Gail had some cravings. As much as Chloe loved to brag about being pregnant, Gail kept it pretty much to her. No one had any idea about the baby. She and Holly decided to keep it to themselves. Holly would tell entire universe, but she knew how private person Gail is. Holly was perfect partner for this. She was very patient and she loved doing things for Gail. First two months they would just stare at Gail's stomach and wait for it to grow. Holly loved how grumpy Gail could get when she starts obsessing about still having pretty flat stomach. Only thing that grew were her breasts and her sexual appetites and Holly was pretty O.k. with that. They were like horny teenagers. They would do it everywhere: Gail's office, Holly's office, car, shower, restrooms in the restaurants…everywhere they could.

''One day we will get caught.''

''That makes it fun Dr. Stewart.''

''Oh, really?''

''Yes, it does… I'm pregnant and I crave my wife. Anyone who had anything to do with a pregnant woman, knows you don't mess with cravings and maker of the tiny human…''

Holly kissed Gail and winked….

''Stewart little…''

''Stop with it…''

Holly got them all the baby books she heard were good. Off course, she was the one to study them first and get all the side notes to what should Gail pay more attention to. She was so excited about being a mother that she even made Gail excited and very cooperative with her diet and kicking the bad habits. Instead of coffee in her cup, she brought herbal tea to work and spent most of the day siping it. She stopped eating junk food and she ate lunches Holly made her or brought her. She didn't like all the healthy moments, but she knew she was doing it for the baby. She was not easy to live and work with when she was off cofein, but she learned to control her temper. She just sometimes had off moments when she was lashing out at the world. Holly knew how to calm her, but others… They didn't have that much luck. During one of the briefings Dove and Chris were not paying attention to what she was saying, so she just started shouting at them and then she was crying like a baby. She gave them warning to behave next time, or she would take the measures against them. Boys were in shock. Oliver was just observing her in silence and smirking. Oh, he knew too well what has gotten into his favorite ex rookie. He saw that four times. Twice with Celery and twice with his ex. He had fun to spy on her and take small notes that would confirm his doubts. His little Peck was about to became a mommy. Once he almost cried to that thought. One afternoon after her shift, Gail got invitation to the girls' party at Chloe's. Chloe and Dove were getting married in two weeks and they made parties on different weekends since they sheared a lot of friends. She and Holly were supposed to come and spend the night there with the rest of the girls and next weekend with the boys. She was very much not in the mood to go, but she knew they had to.

''What shall I say if they offer me the drink?''

''That it's my turn to drink and yours to drive?''

''Will that work?''

''It could…''

Gail was changing her clothes for who knows how many times since she came home. She didn't want anything tight and she didn't want to look pregnant. At almost eleven weeks she started showing a little. Her tummy looked like she ate too much that day. She put on black tights flat boots and Holly's loose black shirt. Her hair was up in a bun and she did her make up a bit stronger than usual. Holly thought her wife was looking very sexy and she really rocked that pregnancy glow. When Gail was done, Holly went to take a shower and pick something for the night. She left the bathroom door opened because she knew Gail would have to pee at least three more times before they leave. When she got out of shower, Gail was sitting on the toilet.

''Wow, I really hate you right now for the toned body…''

''I know love, but you still look smoking…''

Gail was silent for few minutes. She was memorized by her naked wife.

''Holly…''

''Yes?''

''Will you love me when I became fat and this baby makes me all swollen?''

''I will love you very much…''

''You promise?''

''I do. I promise to make you feel special and beautiful even when you don't believe you are.''

''Thank you Holly…''

Holly kissed her quick and went to get dressed. She put on her skinny jeans and plaid shirt. Her hair was in the pony and she put on her glasses. She put on new biker boots Gail bought her and noticed how Gail was looking at her…

''Oh, my God! Baby, you are every young lesbian's wet dream…''

''I can't believe you just said that…''

''But you are… Biker boots and plaid shirt….''

''Fine.''

She took off the shirt and put on very sexy black sweater.

''I like this better.''

''We must leave now. Sooner we get there, sooner we can get out of it…''

''I love the way you think my beloved…''

Chloe's party was Gail's worst nightmare. It was all pink, full of balloons and her mother was there.

''Hello Gail, Holly… Nice of you to show up…''

''Hello mother…''

''Chloe said seven, it's nine thirty…''

Before Gail said something, Holly spoke.

''We were busy… Don't worry… We came…''

Gail chocked at her water. She couldn't believe what she said. Her mother didn't get the double meaning of Holly's words. Holly gave Chloe the gift and went to get herself a drink. Gail's mother was inspecting Gal and she noticed that Mama Peck had something to say. Gail was drowning in cupcakes and she was happy. Sugar made her happy.

''You should stop eating. You will get fat and your wife will leave you. You already ganed wait and you lost your flat stomach.''

''Mother…''

''Do not mother me. You know I'm right. We already know she likes them…younger and if you let yourself get fat she will have reasons to stray…''

''Mother , I'm not fat…''

''Yes, you are…''

At the moment when they were changing the music, Gail shouted at her mother.

''For fucks sake, I AM NOT FAT! I'M TWELWE WEEKS PREGNANT!''

And that got all their attention….

''You are what?''

''Pregnant mother…''

''Who is the father?''

''A donor…''

''Oh…''

Holly noticed that Gail was getting nervous and Elaine was asking wrong questions. She wanted to make joke out of it and make Gail relax a bit.

''Don't worry. She is still a lesbian… and we are pretty much raising the baby together.''

''Oh, so it the baby of the both…How does that work?''

''I am on the certificate as the other parent, like with the straight couple.''

''But you are not one… You are not real parents.''

''We are...As real we can get. She is giving birth to the baby and I believe it doesn't get more real…''

All the ladies who were mothers and had fresh memories of labor agreed. Labor is making it real, regardless of how it happens. You have scars and stretch marks to remind you of the fact you are a mother.

''I hope you know what you are doing. It's not easy to be a parent.''

''Thank you Elaine. We shall take your comment very seriously. After all you are parent of two, so you know.''

Gail and the rest could feel Holly's words dripping with sarcasm. But before any of them said anything, Andy was in shock that Gail was pregnant.

''How did you get pregnant?''

Gail gave her one of her looks.

''Andy, since Holly can't get me pregnant, we did it at the doctor's office.''

''Yes, but why you?''

''I don't get it…''

Chloe rubbed her swollen belly and looked at Gail.

''You never mentioned anything… Why?''

''Because it's no one's business, but ours. It's our baby and what matters is that Holly and I know.''

Steve and Tracy were surprised as well. None of them ever imagined Gail wanting a child especially being the one with it. Steve felt excluded.

''Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?''

''Because we wanted to wait for three months and tell you and our parents after we get the conformation that me and baby are doing well.''

''You are Ok?''

''I'm doing amazing and baby is growing according to plan.''

Steve smiled and put his hand on Gail's small belly.

''My nice or nephew…''

''Yes, your niece or nephew…''

''I'm so proud of you little sis…''

''Thank you…''

Steve gave her a hug and started crying.

''Just so you know, I will be at your house all the time…''

''No, you will not. We will want some time with our child and our family time without all of you.''

''Holly, tell her to let me see the baby all the time…''

''Let's give her some time Steve. She will ask for help, trust me..''

Nick was holding his beer and just looking at her.

''What is it Collins?''

''Nothing, I'm just surprised with the news. I don't remember you ever talking about children as the option. It was always no kids with you.''

''That is because you were not Holly and the partner who I thrust.''

''Why?''

''Because you loooove to tell things to my mother and you would let her be involved in growth and education of my children.''

''What is wrong with me as a parent Gail?''

''Look at me mother! Look what you raised. You made me feel bad about myself. You made me see myself as not worthy of things and you made me hate myself for such a long time. I was lucky to meet Holly and start loving myself and finding forgiveness for my mistakes.''

''It was my fault that you are like that?''

''Yes, and that is why I am sometimes scared of being a parent.''

''So, if I damaged you and you don't think you could parent… Why is not Holly the one who is pregnant? She is more maternal….She is nice, gentle and loving…Unlike you… ''

Before Gail could answer, Holly spoke.

''She is the pregnant one because I would never be able to. I was butchered by the Caveman so badly that my lady parts are useless. I would never be able to me a mother. That is why she is doing this. Because she wants us to have family and because she is ready to face her fears and doubts for us to have a family. Don't you dare say something to her! She was there for me after it happened. She has to see me fall apart every time someone talks about children or having them. She did this for me. She did this because I wanted to be a parent and she is doing all she can to make it possible for me. She is an amazing partner and support.''

Holly runs out of the apartment in tears. Gail stood in the middle of the room looking at all of them. She let one tear roll down her cheek before she rushed after her wife. After years and years, the secret was out… Now all of them knew what were the real consequences of Holly's stabbing. None of them looked at Gail the same way as they did before.


	11. Chapter 11

Gail found her crying in front of the building. Holly was on the floor sobbing. Gail took her hand and lifted her into her arms.

''I'm so sorry Holly… I'm so sorry my love.''

''No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that.''

''Baby….Do you want to go back there?''

''I can't…. Please take me home…''

Gail took her to the car and drove to their home. Holly was very quiet. As soon as they entered their apartment, she went to the bathroom and locked herself in. Gail was having some water when her phone rung. It was Jason Cole. He was working in the lab and she and Holly had good working relationship with him. He was good at what he was doing and Gail loved that he never messed up the evidence.

''Hey, it's Dr. Cole. The idiot from the lab misplaced your samples so I just got to them few days ago. I am really sorry for that.''

She forgot about the evidence and the Caveman since she got pregnant. Her baby and Holly were all she thought about.

I think you and Holly should come to the lab…''

''Can it wait?''

''No, it would be better if you came NOW.''

''Fine, we'll be there…''

She knocked at the bathroom door and called for Holly

''Babe, we have to go to the lab…NOW!''

Holly got out of the bathroom. Her eyes were red, she cried in there.

''Why? What is happening?''

''Hm… I don't know…Cole said we have to come.''

Cole was in his office when they came. In front of him was big pile of papers.

''What is it Cole?''

''Your prisoner is not Caveman…''

They went pail…

''WHAT?!''

''The man whose samples you brought is not the man it says he is. That is some other person. His name is Jacob Plumb. He was in prison for some petty theft and he was supposed to be out a little after the time riot happened. And since he is listed as dead, my guess is that Caveman left as his ''body'' in the bag.''

Holly, got up from the chair and started pacing over the lab.

''He is out for years, why now?''

Cole looked at them and after long debate in his head; he said the words he was afraid to use…

'' I think you pulled out the reason out of the victim…''

Gail looked at them?

''What are you talking about? What was in the victim?''

''Photo of you and Holly. One from the past and the other was recent…''

''Us? You think it's personal?''

''I believe it is… You shot him and he didn't finish his…thing with Holly….''

Holly felt sick. She got up and went somewhere. Gail spent almost an hour looking for her wife and she found her at the last place she expected her to be. Holly was at the shooting range. During their dating and first years of marriage, Gail could almost never get her to come there and shoot with her.

''If someone ever told me I would find you here, I would call them mad.''

''I just had to blow up some steam.''

''What happened to your betting cages method?''

''I don't know. I wanted to shoot or blow up something…''

Gail put on the glasses and headphones.

''Stewart, you are my wife, and you still have no idea how to hold a gun and shoot. I think that is a ground for a divorce…''

Holly smiled at her.

''We can't allow the CS Peck's reputation to me destroyed because the wife doesn't know how to shoot.''

''You have no idea how hard it is to be a Peck and to keep the Peck name… impeccable….''

''Is that why you took the Stewart name?''

''No, that was because I loved you….''

''Loved me?''

''Let me remind you I have gun in my hand… Do you want to change that statement?''

''Hm… Good thinking Stewart… I must say that I still love you..''

''Thank you…''

''…for my own safety….''

''I must remind you I have a gun.''

Gail came to her and kissed her.

''Let's teach you how to shoot that bad boy honey…''

Gail made her turn and showed her how to stand. She took her hands and placed gun into them.

''Now, shoot baby…''

Holding her hands over Holly's two of them fired four rounds. Holly never shot that much in her life.

''That felt therapeutic…''

''I told you so… I love that… I always imagine my mom…''

''Gail…''

''But, I do…''

Holly smiled and kissed her wife.

''You are insane…''

''But you love me.''

''I do…''

There was short period of silence.

''Gail…What will we do?''

''About Caveman?''

''Yes…''

''Honestly, I have no idea…. Part of me wants to pack it all up and leave.''

Holly looked at her surprised.

''You do?''

''Yes, I would do anything to keep you and the baby safe. You and our baby are my everything.''

Holly kissed her and smiled at her.

''But I know Gail that we will not be going anywhere in the end. You will always choose to face him and face what it brings to us. And I know that it's part of who you are and it will never change. I just hope we will be O.K. and that he wouldn't get to us again. I can't relive it all Gail.''

''I promise we will be fine. You, me and this baby….We will be fine...''

They got home and finally went to bed. Their night filled with drama ended. In the morning, they went to work and the news of the pregnancy was already all over their offices. One of the biggest gossips came to her office with her friend.

''Dr. Stewart, we didn't know you are married to CS Peck… Well, all the best with the baby. Do you know the sex?''

''No, we want to wait. It's up to Gail if she wants to know it earlier.''

''Whatever it is it will be amazing with you as parents.''

''Thank you…''

With that, Holly picked up her case file and went to the autopsy she had that morning. That was the place no one would dare to come and bug her with stupid things. She worked on an older man who ODed on pain meds. She had to call police and inform them about it. Dove and Chris came to the morgue and she informed them about the case. She had doubts about it being a suicide, but she wanted them to check it up. Chris went to make a call so she and Dove stayed alone.

''So, we are to became parents.''

''It looks like it…''

''I'm so nervous…''

''No need, it will be fine.''

''Easy for you to say. Two of you are woman, you know what to do.''

Holly gave him a look he interpreted as _WTF Dove_.

''It sounded wrong. I wanted to say that you girls have different approach to being parents. You know what to do. I don't know how to be a dad.''

''It will come to you in the most natural way.''

''Not so sure… Not even sure I wanted to be a dad. I mean…Now I have to…''

''Dove… Breathe…''

Chris came back and found Dove looking pail.

''What is wrong with him?''

''Scared of being a father.''

''Oh, I remember when Christian was born… Man, I was so scared, but after few days I was proe…''

''And it turned out he was not your son…''

''Just by blood. He is mine in every other sense.''

''I can't talk about it now…''

Dove left and two of them stayed alone.

''Don't worry… You will be amazing…''

Holly rolled her eyes…

''Because we are two women?''

''No, because you really want it… In a way it has to do with being two women. It can't happen to you by accident. You had to plan it all… And when you give it some thought, money energy and time, it is different as it is when it just happens, like it did for them. I see how you look at her and how careful you are around her. You are part of her pregnancy. You know her habits, what she likes what she doesn't like and that makes you better at the very start. You and Gail are having that baby together, regardless of you not being biological parent. You are parent in every other way. I can't wait for the baby to come and see your little family.''

''Thank you…''

He winked her and left. Holly went back to work and at four she went to meet up with Gail and go to their checkup. Doctor told them that everything is fine and he gave Gail some more vitamins to take. Holly got them right away and Gail was grumpy because she hated all the pills. When they got home, Holly made dinner and Gail took a short nap. She was starting to feel tired and sleepy and Holly teased her that the pregnancy brain is next. After dinner they watched some realty thrash TV and Holly had so much fun listening to Gail make rude comments about the participants. She felt a bit tired and sleepy. She cuddled up to Gail and that is where it all got black.


End file.
